Part 20 - A Season Of Thankfulness

     Hello and welcome all to Part 20 of The Rendering!  I am actually a bit behind in writing this week's post for a number of reasons but no worries, the keys on my keyboard are just a tapping!  Yes, Veronica, there will be a blog this week...lol.
     I feel like I have so much to say this week but I am having trouble deciding just what to focus on.  I want to veer away a bit from focusing on the numbers and the techniques or methods I am using and talk a little about the Thanksgiving season.  I will still be posting my numbers and chatting a bit about that but I am going to share with you all some of the blessings in my life that I have to be thankful for.  
     Every now and again I try to step away from myself and evaluate the person I am, compared to the person that I want to be.  I have recently done this and was saddened by how much actual negativity I was focusing on and, for lack of a better term, spewing out.  I will take that as a lesson and try to focus on the positive because I must accept that I cannot prosper in negativity.  I pushed aside the negative thoughts and I was amazed and humbled by all of the blessings that I do have.  

     Above all else, I must thank God for so many things in my life.  For calling me back to His church and for all of the good and bad things that happen to me.  I say the good AND the bad because I know that God has a plan for my life and that includes the good and the bad.  

     I am thankful this year for my family and for the time that God allowed me to have with my Mom.  We have been through such a hard time this year.  We have lost family members, some that God called home and others that have moved away to follow other paths in life.  Through all of this we have stuck together and supported each other.  I am not sure where I would be in this world without my family and all of their support, but I know I am far better off for having them.  I am thankful for my friends both old and new.  This year has strengthened the bonds that were already there but I have also seen healing in bonds that I once thought were broken forever.  I am thankful for all of the support and kindnesses shown to me by those who read this blog.  I am thankful for my Weight Watchers group for being an anchor and motivation for my journey to better health.

     I could honestly go on and list name after name and blessing after blessing but I want to focus on one blessing that is very, very dear to my heart.

     Those that may know me may be shocked that I would say that my big sister is one of my greatest blessings.  ANYBODY, that has known us growing up might even be shocked that I would say I liked her even a little bit...lol.  If you have a sister or brother then you can better understand how odd, or even love hate, a sibling relationship can be.  

     The words above could not be truer.  I could tell all sorts of stories from my youth and I am sure that my sister would claim that they are just that, stories.  We did indeed battle several times growing up.  It is odd and a bit troubling that I sit here chuckling as I type thinking about the bumps and bruises that we have caused each other. Rocks to heads, knives to throats, foul words, smacks, and perhaps, there is a rumor, that there were even some Barbie doll heads that may have been shaved and removed from the bodies and hidden in the wood pile, but that is just a RUMOR!  Odd and twisted as our relationship is and as lucky as I am that I survived to adulthood, I would not change one second of it.  My sister is one of my heroes and I can truthfully say I would not be here without her.  When I was two years old or so I fell head long into a bathtub full of water.  It just so happened that my sister had been using the tub at the time.  I don't remember any of this but as the story goes my sister grabbed me by the hair and held my head above water until my parents could help.  Now, even though I have a creeping suspicion, a Quanspiracy if you will, that she pushed me, just my opinion, she did indeed save my life.

     That says it all!  She is stuck with me and I could be no prouder to say I am stuck with her.  I love her so much and I am thankful everyday for her even if we don't like each other very much at times.  Besides, who else can I act like an unruly child in public places with.  I will always cherish the kind of smiles and memories that a couple of cherries and a lemon wedge can conjure.

     As much as I hate my picture taken, I am glad I have this one with my sister Becky.  Ain't we cute?!?!

     Now, enough with the blubbering and on to the numbers.  That is why we are all here right?  Here we go...

      As you can see I am down another 5 lbs. this week.  I have brought my total weight lost back down to 115 lbs. just 5 lbs. short to break even again.  Once I do that it's all profit baby!!  I would like to thank my friend Lori for buying me some exercise bands.  I have given them a whirl and I LOVE them.  Who would have thought that some simple rubber resistance bands could be such a good workout.  Well, I guess that would obviously have been the person selling them but now I know too!  I am starting a whole routine based around them and I will be posting some pics in the coming weeks.  I am also trying to get some various weights and bags to work out with.  I am excited to keep moving forward.  

     As I close this week out, I would challenge you all to step outside of your normal selves and just observe the blessings you may be over looking.  

     Just as it says folks.  What are you thankful for?  As we approach the day of turkey and delights, remember that this is a season of thankfulness.  Let us count our blessings and be thankful.  I look forward to hearing at least one thing each of you can be thankful for.  As a final word I will say this, remember, Thanksgiving is a time that we will all gather and enjoy a great meal and fellowship with our loved ones.  If you choose to eat freely then do so gladly keeping in mind that Thanksgiving is just one day and then get right back on track the next day.  Don't punish yourself for enjoying the day just be mindful to not fall off track all together.  As always, thank you so much for reading and supporting me and for continuing to inspire me to win this fight.  I hope you all have a safe and happy holiday.  Enjoy the time you have with you loved ones.  Laugh until you cry then laugh some more because those are the memories that will never leave you.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone and may God bless you all!  To be continued...

Part 19 - Predator or Prey???

WARNING! - The following post of "The Rendering" contains what may be considered "controversial" opinions.  These are the opinions of the author, me, and I would strongly urge all readers to come to their own opinions.  If you find my opinions offensive, feel free not to read, but as this is my journey, these are my opinions and experiences.  Thank you.  -MGMT-

     Thank you all for returning to "The Rendering"!  This is Part 19 - Predator or Prey???  Earlier this week I posted a simple question on my Facebook.  I asked, "Are you predator or prey?"  I intentionally did not elaborate on that statement anymore than that because I wanted to see how people would answer.  Of the answers I received, they certainly were varied.  I even had one person answer, "I hate weather", which I am still trying to make sense of.  Anyhow, I asked this question of myself as well in regards to my life and how I handled all situations.  Here is how I answered.  I have indeed, been both predator and prey.  I have seen both sides of this eternal struggle and I have learned their merits.  A predator, to me, is strong, cunning, driven, and effective but would not be any of these things without its prey.  To be prey, to me, gives me a sense of innocence, craftiness, and necessity, qualities accentuated by the existence of predators.  I find this circle of life very symbolic of my own life.  I see these qualities in myself and how I chose to handle several situations.  I also have found that by experiencing moments as prey that I have been able to find a sense of respect and honor for those that are more often on the prey side of the spectrum.  So why do I bring this all up in this week's post?  I want to give you all some sort of idea of how I approach this process of weight loss.  I am battling everyday with all of the different aspects of this journey.  Urges and actions, successes and failures, do I attack an opportunity or run and hide to await a better chance?  These are all pieces of what I go through each and every day.

     With all of the above being said, this post ends the 2-week sugar-free challenge that I embarked upon and also challenged you my readers to.  As I said last week, I was doing fairly well avoiding sugary treats and added refined sugar to my foods.  This week was a bit different however.  I have to be honest and I will say that I did have a few sugary treats.  I had some moments of weakness and found myself being "prey" to my urges.  I found however, that after I indulged in these devil-be-damned treats that I felt like garbage.  I got that quick rush and immediate sense of satisfaction but it faded to not only a physically lethargic feeling but also depression and even fuzzy thinking.  I will use these moments to learn from though.  I know what is making me feel good and healthy and what is bringing me down so I now know what to avoid even more so.  

     Over the past two weeks I heard from many of my readers that were going to give the sugar-free challenge a whirl themselves.  After a few days there was a few common conclusions.  First, this challenge was MUCH HARDER than it sounded.  Sugar can be a relentless taskmaster.  Second, we were all more than a little surprised to see just how much sugar was in our foods.  Not just the treats, drinks, and desserts we were eating but just in the normal foods.  Remember, a quick conversion is 4 grams of sugar equals 1 teaspoon of sugar.  Shink about this if you still are a bit doubtful, please, I encourage you to get yourself a Chobani fat-free Greek yogurt container.  Once you have this empty cup, go ahead a put 5 teaspoons of sugar into it.  Sure, these are fat-free yogurts and yes they do have several nutritional benefits but they also have 5 teaspoons of sugar!  For me, due to the fact that I am not nearly as active as I should be, that sugar, more than likely, will convert to fat...NOT GOOD!  

     Tossing this sugar-free challenge out there has spawned some very interesting side questions from some of you.  I have decided to do some further research into a couple of these for a future post.  I am going to be researching the effects of artificial sweeteners versus natural sweeteners like honey and stevia both nutritionally and health wise.  I am also going to venture into wheat gluten pros and cons.  If any readers would like to offer their opinions or knowledge on those subjects please email me at Pedropwr3@aol.com with the subject "POST INFO" so I know what it is for.  I would also welcome any other questions you may have.

      In last week's post I told you all that big things were coming this weekend and indeed they have, big things in my opinion that is.  For those of you that were wondering about the WARNING at the beginning of this week's post, here is why.  Remember, I am sharing my life and experiences and I do not expect for all of you that read this to believe everything I do nor do I feel that you have to in order so that you find success in your own journeys.  That being said, you all know that I am making several changes in my life.  I am changing my relationship with food and lifestyle but I am also working on changing other relationships.  I am working on repairing several relationships with those that I have wronged or just drifted away from in the past.  There is a major relationship in my life that was once very strong and for one reason or another we drifted apart.  Last week I sought out guidance from a very wise friend on how to begin not only repairing my relationship but making it stronger than ever.  The relationship that I speak of is my relationship with God and His church.  I am a Christian and I have accepted Jesus Christ as my savior long ago but I allowed myself to drift far from the church due to the actions of others.  Today, I can happily say that I returned to church for the first time in many, many years.  I realized that I needed to be able to have a fruitful relationship with God and His church.  I have always known God but it was as if my fire had dimmed to mere embers.  I can honestly say that today felt as if I came home.  I could feel the spark again, the desire to learn from and praise the Lord again.  I always knew of God's love for me but I had to accept that even though I was finding success in this journey, I could not do it alone.  I needed God to truly succeed.
     As I have said before, I will not say to those that may believe differently that you "must" believe as I do, but I will say that I "MUST" believe as I do to succeed and I hope to show the those that know me how my life is affected by my beliefs.  I still have far to go but I know that I do not walk alone and I know that I have not taken one step alone.  I can also modify my answer to the question "Are you predator or prey?" by letting you all know that I am a "PREYDATOR that prays".
     Now comes the time to throw out this week's numbers so without hesitation I give you all...

   BOOM!!!

     There we go!  Five hundred Sixty-four pounds!  A total loss for this week of 6 lbs. (yes I made an error in math J&D) but 6 lbs. is just as good.  My total weight lost at this point is 110 lbs and dropping!  A good friend said to me this weekend that I was in the perfect catch-22.  As I lose weight I start feeling better, battle less medical issues, and move more but I find that by moving more I start feeling worse and end up battling more medical issues.  This is a vicious circle but not an endless one.  I asked him what he would suggest I do to remedy this issue and his reply was, not an exact quote, but he basically said just shut up and do it.  Man-up if you will allow me to use such a term.  As much as it pains me to say this, and oh boy it hurts, YOU SIR ARE CORRECT!!  I said it ok.  Now I must do it.  I must fight to force myself to be more active.  I must move more, exercise more, and be as dedicated to being more physical as I am to the rest of my journey.  I will no longer be "happy" with 1 or 2 lbs lost.  I will push for more but do so safely and responsibly.  I would love to take any input for exercises, stretches or activities that may help me.  I am also open to anybody that may want to "donate" any old and dusty exercise equipment you may have to my cause.  It will get put to good use and I am going to start posting pictures so you all can see as well.  

     I think that I have covered enough for this week.  As usual, I would like to thank each and every person that reads this blog and lends me his or her support.  I love reading your comments and encouragement.  It means the world to me.  I ask that you share this blog as much as you can.  Perhaps there is someone that just needs to know there is support out there.  We ARE changing lives and changing the world!  Much love and God bless you all.  VIVE LA FAT REVOLUTION!!!  To be continued... 

 WAKE UP A PREYDATOR!

Part 18 - Short and Sweet!

     There it is folks!  I have dropped two more pounds this week.  I am now down to 104 lbs. lost overall.  I am going to keep this week's post very short and sweet.  I don't have a lot to say but I am planning for some big things in next week's post.  Here is what I do have for you all...

     I HAVE HAD AN AWESOME WEEK!!  I have made it through one whole week of my sugar free challenge.  In the very beginning I felt bad physically but that was my body making some adjustments.  Now that I am through what I am calling my "detox" phase I am definitely seeing some improvements.  This week I have done so many things and even made it through a whole workweek without missing any time.  For those of you who are doing this with me, please, let me know what you are experiencing.  

     As I said I am keeping it short this week and I am sorry for that but here is why.  As I proceed in my journey to lose weight and I am finding that, as I have said before, I have more energy and get up to do things.  I am now finding that, by cutting my sugar intake, the energy I do have is of a much better quality.  Not the "flash-in-the-pan" quick energy that sugar gives you but a much more sustained energy.  I have to say I love it!  Here is the rub; I have gone from trying to run an 18-wheeler on a 9-volt battery to trying to run it with a mini-van battery.  I get much better mileage but I still have my limits.  I have just had the honor of spending the past 24 hours or so with some very dear friends and their kids, my Godchildren.  Please take notice of this picture...

     These are my Godchildren Cayden and Kayleigh.  I love them with all of my heart and the time I get to spend with them I cherish.  I have realized however, that children are nature's nuclear power plants and I just can't keep up.  After spending some much needed fun time with them, I AM EXHAUSTED!  I don't know how their parents keep up with them but I have a need for a nice cozy bed and blanket right now so this is all I am writing.  

     Big things are coming next weekend and I am excited to share these with you all.  For now however, as always, please share this on your pages and thank you for all of your support.  I keep plowing forward and I am going to win!  Much love and God bless you all.  VIVE LA FAT REVOLUTION!!!  To be continued...

 

Part 17 - The Sweet Seduction Of Sugar

     Hello and welcome to Part 17 of The Rendering also known as "The Sweet Seduction Of Sugar".  It is a fact that every addict has his or her own personal "drug" of choice.  Being addicted to food, from my experience, is not an exception to this rule.  I like most foods to some extent but I must say that sugar is most definitely my "drug" of choice.

     I love my sweets in all forms.  Cakes, cookies, pies.... I guess, perhaps, that might have not been such a good choice.  As we all know, Halloween just passed by us and overall I didn't do so bad.  I will own the fact that I did indeed enjoy a few pieces of candy and a couple of doughnuts.  That being said, I did far better than I normally do.  As I have said since the beginning of this journey, the point is to not "ban" foods but to change my relationship with foods.  Even sugar, while certainly not a great choice, is not evil.  Take a look at this little picture...

     Does this look threatening?  Not really, in fact it is somewhat pretty with all the colors and whatnot.  Do not however, allow my words or the pretty colors to lure you into a false sense of security.  Sugar needs to be respected and used with caution.

     Refined sugar is found in far more items than just desserts.  I did some research and found a surprising number of places that were hiding sugar.  Cake mixes, ice cream, jelly, cookies, and soda are all obvious sources for sugar but what about these sugar land mines, bottled pasta sauce, barbecue sauce, and even bottled tea.  Not convinced?  Applesauce, canned or packaged fruit, juices (all natural too) and even some "healthy" foods like Skinny Cow are high in sugar.  Cereal bars, warm and cold cereals, and even yogurt can be tiny little saboteurs.  Take a look for yourself when you are out grocery shopping or even just looking around you cupboards and pantries.  Find the nutrition label on whatever random food you choose and find how many grams of sugar there are per serving.  Now, for those that do not know, 1 teaspoon of granulated sugar equals 4 grams of sugar.  Now do a little math and figure out just how many teaspoons of sugar you consume in a day.  I can't speak for anyone else, but I have my suspicions that you would be as shocked as I was.  

     So what are some of the dangers of "abusing" sugar?  Yes, I did indeed say "abusing" sugar.  I used that word because that is exactly what I have been doing.  Here are just a few of the problems that "abusing" sugar can lead to...

      I found myself going down this list while doing my research and I just kept saying "yep, got that" and quite frankly it was scary.  So now that I have thrown out some facts I am left with the question "How do I intend to help myself?"

     I have been fairly successful so far with beating this addiction but it is still there.  Still there gnawing at the back of my brain and I know that I am, at times, one treat away from becoming the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde of sweets.  I try to keep the monster at bay with logic.  I remember those lists of health issues sugar can cause when consumed with reckless abandon.  My friend, Edgar Mellencamp, likes to remind me constantly that sugar is also horrible for your teeth so that helps to deter me as well.  

     If you are a fan of my blog, then you know I like to use visual aids because it helps me express my point.  So I will go this direction.  Perhaps, this will help you remember the potential danger that too much sugar possesses.  Mother Nature is a brilliant force.  She has a way of showing us dangerous critters and plants.  Here are a few examples...

       Monkshood, a vibrant purple bloom that is a warning of just how poisonous it can be.

 Or the brilliant Clown Frog.... DANGER!

 

 The electric blue rings of Australia's Blue Ringed Octopus flash a warning to not mess with this little fellow.

 

Red on yellow kills a fellow is all you need to know about the Coral Snake.

 

Finally, this multicolored Poison Arrow Frog screams HANDS OFF!

     

     As anybody can see and as I said before, Mother Nature knows how to warn us of danger.  If she can do it so can I...

 As you can see, sugar can be beautiful as well.  Yes indeed those stunning pieces are made from, you guessed it, SUGAR!  So with that, I will keep in mind the danger that sugar can hold if not used with care.

       Each person has a different metabolism.  Some are fast and some are slow.  Mine, however, would stand a real good chance of losing a race with a glacier.  So, keeping that in mind, I am going to challenge myself.  I will offer this challenge to you as well.  I am going to attempt to go "sugar free" for the next two weeks starting Monday morning.  I mean, absolutely no added sugar or sugary treats.  Again, allow me to stress that I am not saying that you or I "must" give up sugar but I am going to do this as an experiment.  I want to see just how much better, or worse for that matter, that I will feel by reducing almost all added refined sugar.  I want to see how it affects my weight, mood, blood pressure, depression, energy, and overall health.  I normally like to take one day a week for my "dessert" day but I am only going to have sugar free desserts.  I will report on my progress in each of the coming posts.  I am hoping that I will find positive results and not only that, but I am hoping to form a habit of little to no sugar to use towards my benefit.  Try it with me if you want.  I would love to hear your results and thoughts.  I am going to have to also address my use of artificial sugar substitutes.  I understand that there are several conflicting opinions on which ones are bad for you and which ones are, because I can't say good, "less bad" for you.  I would love to hear the thoughts of my readers and perhaps some suggestions as to what products you might know of that are more healthful.  I know that a lot of people have suggested stevia and I have tried it and I actually like it.  I am not sure, but just in passing over some research I think I saw that it depends on what form the stevia is in.  If anybody knows anything about that please feel free to fill me in.

      Now on with the show!!  As we all know, we are here for the numbers so I shan't gild the lily any longer.  I give you.... duh duh duh!!!!!

9 MORE POUNDS GONE!

     More importantly, the new total weight lost is 102 lbs.  I am bouncing back from the weight gain and I am doing it strong!  I owe my success and motivation to my family, friends, and all of you that follow me and lend me your support.  I say it each week but I can't say it enough...thank you all.  I am blessed and honored each week to be able to share such an amazing journey with you all.  I think that I will call this one for now.  On a technical note, I am asking for some feedback on comments on the actual blog posting.  I am getting word that people cannot leave comments on the actual posts when using their "smart" devices.  If this is indeed the case and you have any idea why that is or how to remedy this issue please feel free to email me at Pedropwr3@aol.com.  Thank you all again and remember, the sugar free challenge is on!  As always, please share this post on your pages because you never know who might need a bit of encouragement in their struggle.  We are touching lives out there.  Much love and God bless you all.  VIVE LA FAT REVOLUTION!!!  To be continued...